he just said he was sorry he wasnt been able to come by more often coz things are really crazy with that girl
you mean his girlfriend
I still think their baby is ugly. I also still think it's yours.
if i had a camp nickname it would be Flick Bean
I just spent a chunk of my Christmas money on Plan B. I don't think that's what my relatives had mind when they said "spend it wisely", but hey, it was a good investment considering the bad life choices i made last night.
We're the kind of people who ruin family vacations
Some dude gave me a questioning look as I came out of the women's toilet. I just responded 'blowjob' and he understood, then shook my hand.
I know you claim to have a large penis but I do not believe in what i cannot see. Sort of like god.
We are going to get clementines. And shoot them out of a ballon launcher. That's after we come up to the ivy with a bullhorn and reck havoc. Where are you.
Just did the walk of shame in front of his dad while I was wearing his gym shorts and my heels from graduation last night. Keep it classy '12
I mean jail does seem alright, all the free broth you can eat.
We need to make tonight low-budget
Is this your way of suggesting flasks?
What happened after I vommed in your shirt that I was wearing and threw it out the window on the highway?
Awkward is sitting in your parking spot and making eye contact with every one of your next door neighbors two hours before you have a threesome.
Wedding party came into the bar an hour ago. Mother of the bride is a stage five clinger. send help.
I can appreciate that you picked up the hot drummer, but don’t have sex in front of my house lmao
Randomize
