I changed my tire completely alone.. I could totally win survivor
Its my greatest physical accomplishment
Pick my eyebrow is burning. I'm sitting in the back of dolows vat and listening to jolly music and wilfgang is signing and looking food. Cute kid. Home is where I go now.
what. the. fuck.
if hell is full of stilettos, fake tans, bleached hair, overused make-up, drawn out s's and blatent bitchiness, then i'm in hell right now.
Lol welcome to greek life
He sent me a video of himself jacking off. I am not kidding.
WTF??? Isn't he married??
Yeah but his wife is at a birthday party and I guess he's bored. LOL
We just spray painted his balls while he is passed out....I cant wait to see him try to figure this out in the morning.
I would like to add..this is the first november for two years that i haven't cheated on a bf...thank you..thank you
I think I found an E pill under the couch.. Or really bad tasting candy. Check back in 30min this could get exciting
I'm spooning a three legged dog right now. Started drinking whiskey with Breakfast. Best part about being biracial is Irish cousins. Dog Pic Attahed
Drinking franzia alone at noon watching a cheese themed episode of "The Chew" I'm ready to admit I need a job.
My goal for tonight is to swipe my debit card through those weird rolls on the back of a big bald guy's head.
She shit all over my seat. She is not allowed in my car under any circumstances. Not even with drugs. You can't forgive a shit.
Not remembering where I left my grinder before vacation #stonerproblems
I woke up naked in this guys bed and the first thing I start saying is it's super bowl Sunday like I was yelling
Get your ass back to America. We've got a lot of drugs to do.
You woke up at like 4 in the morning fell off your bunk bead, yelled at Nic for asking if you were ok, walked to the kitchen, pissed on the keg, and then looked at me and said "Still not worth it" then went back to bed.
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