i finally understand why guys leave in the middle of the night.......they got it right
somehow on my way home with matt, I ended up straddling steve on the sidewalk and polling the people walking by on whether or not we should have sex.
I had to puke in a pizza box on the drive home. People saw.
god is playing jersey shore on new years on purpose. he wants me to play drinking games and die. i wish he knew how serious this is.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
you were the first one he came out to and you announced it as the finale while singing karaoke at the bar
there's a picture of him beating off in the library with a cowboy hat. please steer clear of this one if you ever want to be respected.
Mango bong: no go. Guava bong: sweet flaming buddha it was delicious. I shall teach you the ways of tropical fruit trees.
Getting high in the car with mom and the aunts during intermission for drag queen bingo. Details later.
This tequila is so bad I might cry. I won't Throw up but I might cry
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Like I could say no to two hot people already naked and fucking. Please. I'm not made of stone.
Twice?!
It is 5:00PM and I'm just now putting on underwear.
But I don't see you as the jesus riding a dinosaur with a machine gun type of guy
So I'm trying to figure out how to talk my boss into allowing pajama day once a week. Any ideas?
I just spent 100$ at a sex shop to make myself feel better. And I signed you up to win 200$ so if you win, it's mine. And yes I'm serious.
ever feel bored AND lazy?
I call it "awake" but yeah...
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