So you're telling me it's impossible to have a "slight case" of chlamydia?
I couldnt find her vag and just started laughing uncontrollably. She was not pleased. Neither was i.
no... you woke up naked next to the toilet because you said your outfit was too cute to throw up in
She calls her new ritual "bed, bath, and beyond crunk". Hence why I found her passed out in my bath tub this morning.
i went to go through my sent box of drunk texts from last night and they were all deleted... i'm going to assume drunk me made the executive decision that sober me would be better off not knowing what they said
Yea it's a sex scar. But if anyone asks I tripped up carpeted stairs
Ya, found out why there were rat traps in my bed. Guess I pissed in Sams room so he went to the store and got them and put them on my bed and put tabasco in his humidifier and put it in my room
you were stumbling down richmond carrying a girl in a nurse costume. its not even halloween dude
Thank you for not boning my boss.
Gonna open a taco bell in colorado. Millions bro.
Hahaha idk what's worse your life or my hangover.
I was just trying to be a good friend but in retrospect I probably shouldn't have pepper sprayed you.
We got really excited for country fried steak then we had sex.
Well, I was giving him a handy and I sighed in boredom. He heard. I had to fake moaning sounds after he asked if I sighed.
Ahaah! I just stole batteries from work for my vibrator. I am that person.
Randomize
