Your tits are I can't wait for
Have you seen my high heels that I wore out?
You mean the one that you threw at the parked cop car or the one in the microwave?
She bet her virginity on the Celtics. Looks like Kobe wont be the only one breaking in a new ring.
This is one of those situations that make me think to myself "what life decision did I make to get here"
he was banged his ex for coke the whole time and is still the best guy so far this year. standards need to be raised.
Were at her birthday dinner and her dad keeps buying me shots saying when I was your age I fucked the shit outta girls
Hahahahahaha remind him your dating his daughter
He was uncircumcised
It was like inception. A penis within a penis within a penis
I DON'T WANT TO DEMONSTRATE MY DICK TAKING ABILITIES WITH MY MOM THERE.
If you have shit your pants within the past two years, please take a seat.
did you just describe your masturbation session as "rad af??"
Welp, just took a tab of acid and cracked one of three bottles of champagne... Mondays ¯\\_(ツ)_/¯
To shove my foot up anybody ass who tries to start shit. I'm not takin shit this year. That and I wanna volunteer somewhere to help make a difference
Had a dream I dropped the L word and immediately threatened to kill myself
You probably shouldn't be having nightmares about expressing affection
And today, on Faces I'd Like to Sit On .... The starting line up of the German National Football team
He stopped me mid-blow job to say that his new year's resolution was to stop hooking up. MID FUCKING BLOW JOB.
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