I'm not crazy, I only keep calling you cause you won't pick up.
Oh. He liked you.
Then you said "Are you asian?, I didn't know there was Asians in Colorado."
Note to self: Don't teach the naked lap rule in beer pong until after youve made a cup..
Funny how often beer equates to second degree burns on some portion of my body.
4 to the list in one week. Slutsville isn't as fun as the brochure promised.
The last thing I remember is sitting in a chair and him hand feeding me bell peppers
Within 24 hours, I went to a feminist documentary screening with two state reps and you hate fucked a rent-a-cop on the helipad of your hospital. Somewhere our lives went in different directions.
I still make more money.
I found him on the floor in the kitchen eating cheese and tomato. I mean a block of cheese and whole tomatoes, he was alternating. Thats why your cheese has teeth marks.
Update: I may or may not be in a cult
Update #2: I may or may not be the leader of said cult
You fucked two dudes in the same night and still went home to your cats. How does that happen?
Just so you know, I woke up with 2 oven mits in my bed and no clothes on.
If you get any calls give me a heads up. Im drinking rum in my underwear on the back porch.
we finally found him at 2 am. he was 3 miles from the house and tried running into the lake when he saw us pull up. i don't think he'll be taking ecstacy again any time soon.
He puked all over the side of the car and the head rest behind him...and then all he said was "America."
We have massive handle of kettle and a rack of hi life
That's the happiest ive ever been at 7:48 am....
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