Things on my life to do list: hold a pound of marijuana. Check.
i just peed in a port a potty and wiped with my credit card statement. fuck yeah!
his cum tasted like old pizza and looked like old milk
Convinced the domino's pizza delivery person to go to shaws and buy me a bottle of wild turkey. For america.
Just smoked out of an apple with Steve Jobs. I love Halloween.
I made this pact with my vagina, though. No more heartless fuckery.
Finishing last nights 1.5L of wine and beef jerky for breakfast. Work looms, ever the prickly bitch.
Just sharpening my eyeliner with a butterfly knife. You know. Typical weekday morning.
I just gave a bum a ride back to his bench. Columbus is weird but I like it.
I was wondering why are people staring at me til I realized I was bra-less with a lei around my neck
You can trust me. I'm unemployed and not wearing pants.
I'm at a Tim Horton's and two girls just came in handcuffed to eachother
Remember, I smoked so you wouldn't have to. I'm like the Jesus of Marijuana.
you made the house rule that every time you'd say "yay" everyone had to drink.
that explains so much
Drinking at 10 in the morning and swimming might not be the best idea I've ever had but it beats working
Randomize
