the best part about tonight...knowing when i wake up in the morning his car will still be full of packing peanuts..and mine wont
friends don't let friends hook up with gingers.
She really thought E.D. was a sexually position.
is it just me, or are high schoolers getting sexier?
New plan, instead of sleeping with her, I'm just going to use her to sleep with the entire sorority.
The only thing better than Call of Duty is getting jerked off while playing Call of Duty.
I held his ankles while he hung off the top bunk attempting to get my pillow that fell off.
I'm just here to guide your spirit, avoiding herpes is on you though
Fucked Zombie Jesus at a Halloween party. I need Plan B before I give birth to the Antichrist.
Jake and I will do a protection ritual for ur dick I don't know where she has been
listen. he fixes things. buys me drinks and sticks his penis in my vagina. age means nothing at this low point in my life.
Nothing says "I Love you" like my dick in a pizza box
I feel like my cat and I are playing mind games. I need more friends.
LIKE ALL I WANT TO CURE MY HANGOVER IS PORKROLL AND LIKE 85% OF THIS COUNTRY DOESN'T KNOW WHAT IT IS
I JUST NEEDED TO TELL YOU I JUST FUCKED TWO BOYS IN THE SPAN OF LIKE THREE HOURS AND ONE OF THEM WAS MY SISTERS PROM DATE FROM HIGH SCHOOL IM LOWKEY BOTH PROUD AND ASHAMED
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