he only lasted three minutes, so to spite him i stayed the night and slept in.
I just heard an old guy ask the chick he was with if she wanted to try ass to mouth...
thanks for that.
People are suprisingly accepting of someone doing a walk of shame in a toga...
I just had a Brazilian done for this guy. He's getting first-date sex whether he wants it or not.
is it just my freshly shaved vagina or is the guy at the end of the table pretty cute??
You were dancing around the clubbing yelling "best wingman ever" and raising your cast in the air
I was tripping so hard I was disappointed when I pulled back the shower curtain and shrek wasn't standing there
Ive never seen him vulnerable before. He just had surgery and looked so cute on his crutches. like a little baby bird with a broken wing. that i wanted to nurse back to health. with my vagina
You were crying and singing wanted dead or alive while trying to eat cold soup, I think that pathetic is an understatement
Back of his car in the Starbucks parking lot WITH HIS APRON STILL ON. Check and Mate.
Holy shit. You won barista bingo AND the Triple Crown in one day.
You walked in wearing nothing but a beekeeper mask
Was about to close the deal last night until he said he hadn't seen the Taylor Swift video. So I made him watch it before I let him have sex with me.
Yeah well, last time I said I wasn't having a big night I was being strangled in somebody's spare bed
Like pizza and mermaids make up about 1/3 of my thoughts on the weekends.
Pretty sure this radio station is run by a cult. Good thing it's in Spanish, can't brainwash someone who can't understand you.
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