**** and his GF asked me to give his stuff back, and they would give me a 100. HA, they dont know I have it to charity haha
We had to use the stains on Phil's shirt to try to piece together what happened last night.
I think the best way to start out any day is to watch 80's music videos. It's like visual wheaties.
I'd be surprised if he had a problem with boundaries after helicoptering his penis in front of you
The druken crowd just broke into singing "God Bless America" while waiting the newlyweds to get in the limo. My friend is eating rose petals.
I show up hung over with mcdonalds. Why wouldn't he have sex with me? It's a fucking leap year...
Exactly. So you're exempt under the "I can't just fuck her to make it go away" clause of 2010.
I'm going to try to ignore the homoerotic subtext in that last question...
Some cougar Brit said she loved me. America is bouncing back.
And then my hands went numb and no one believed me so I started putting peoples cigarettes out on them. Shitty idea i'll tell you that much
Happy 420. I woke up to a girl smoking weed and dragging me out of bed. Chemistry makes so much sense high.
I made out with a mom and her daughter and got a black eye, so yeah, my birthday went well
PLEASE HELP ME THE AMERICANS ARE YELLING ABOUT TURKEY, I DON'T KNOW WHAT TO DO
How does one take the "you're the best sex I've ever had but I'm marrying someone that's sub-par in the sack" mind fuck?
I pity the fool.
Thanks Mr T.
dont go in the freezer to fetch your weed. my vibrator may or may not be in there. not sayin, just sayin
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