I introduced my face to asphalt last night. They didn't get along.
it was like the sexual equivalent of when Wilson fell off the raft and floated away
Just saw the hottest 4 garbage men ever. They should make a calendar
SLUTTIEST. 4TH. EVER.
my post shower fart this morning sounded like hulk ripping through a phonebook
Did i actually sleep there? Or did i just get sand everywhere?
Is this girl REALLY making a smoothie in the bathroom right now?
Driving by his house every hour is not stalking, it's a reconnaissance mission... How else can I confront him
She is larger then a hippo. You could cut her open in the middle of a blizzard and crawl in like Luke skywalker. Throw a couch and a tv in there and you're set
We 6 way cheers-ed with French fries last night, hammered, in the booth.
yeah dropping that class because i really don't want to be known as the girl who fell asleep in class and threw up as she walked out for an entire semester
But yeah, that is officially the new "I just came" picture
I had sex on a sidewalk in downtown Chicago... I don't think I have anymore morals to lose.
did you just correct my grammar and then send me a photo of your dick?
how do you feel about japanese?
I would eat half a street meat hotdog I found on the sidewalk, I'm good with anything.
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