i just woke up in a strange room and the first thing i saw was a chewbacca mask... wtf
just by requesting 'I think we're alone now', not only did you achieve emptying the bar, but you also rubbed it in the owners face.
just convinced someone I was a virgin. I love when people don't know me.
We need to play Chardee MacDennis. Contact me when you have an available date. This is not a question.
His balls looked like two miss shaped chicken nuggets
Please tell me how I go from a guy with a coke problem to a cop. My own life doesn't even make sense to me anymore
Did you really get 12 corn dogs from the gas station last night?
Saw a girl lying on her back next to a fire hydrant. Not sure if passed out drunk or sleeping under the stars
wait nvm its a dude
Saying someone's good at giving head is like saying someone is good at pouring juice like there is that one girl who will spill it everywhere but for the most part it's not that hard to be good at
You don't realize how cold it really is...I poured my bong out the second floor window and icicles hit the ground.
Is it bad form to spend company money and place an ad in the paper because I wanna nail the sales girl?
for some reason leaving your socks onmakes it less meaningful.
im bringing home some absinth and some holy water. one way or another things are going to get spiritual.
Ok here's the plan: birth control, KFC, handcuffs.
IT'S PERFEFT
... what?
HIS DICK. IT'S PERFECT. BYE.
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