the fundamentals of my vasectemy are strong
haha my mom just sent us out to go to all of the hair cutting places to ask for hair because deer ate all our zuchini.. and we have to pee in a bucket all day cause deer hate urine. please tell me we are normal?
i cant lie to you.
it felt like the flash was giving me a handjob
How do I tell if what I'm covered in is pee or cum?
New plan, instead of sleeping with her, I'm just going to use her to sleep with the entire sorority.
I wore my underwear in the shower just in case i passed out and you had to come in and get me
He told me that he wanted to break up with his girl friend but only after we had sex, only for him to make sure I'm worth it..
Single handedly the worst sex I've ever had just went down. Its like we both laid there after word-less thinking about the other " could they be any worse in bed" ?
she just walked in and said "well, I got peed on again"...
You started a dance party so that you could steal their vodka and shouted "sailors out!"
The profile of her ass is just unreal. Weird way to use profile I know, but never more accurate
did you just send me my own nude
So you thought it was a good idea to make plans for the same time same place with the guy you were sort of dating AND his best friend you slept with?
I'll seduce him with my charm, after all, I am a graceful swan.
More like a demented cow.
I don't care. It's wine Wednesday get your gameface on.
Randomize
