I assume you are not resopnding because you are having sex thus i give you a text message high five
What would you say if I got first degree burns on my nipples from drinking coffee topless?
we're on our way back. she tried to pants the waiter again.
did i get hit in the head with a hammer? someone just asked me...
One of two things would happen: He'd love it, or you'd get a restraining order.
Damn you and your Monday night power hours.
Half of elefante. Gelafin galaxy
A guy just walked down the street dressed as Mickey Mouse holding a 40oz. Where the hell did you leave me?
Yes, he does have a boomerang dick. No matter how many times I throw it away, it keeps coming right back and winds up hitting me in the head.
Pretend you're in a taco. That always helps me sleep.
I just saw two homeless guys bond over the fact that they both use Crown Royal bags as wallets in Burger King.
I'm beginning to think that women just have dogs at home as an excuse to leave ASAP after hooking up, without sounding like a typical guy.
who sends a dick pic at 3 am on a sunday honestly
seriously. and now it'll take him hours to clean up the glitter
He made me a flamingo drink and now I don't know why things are the way they are.
its 11:20. i'm drunk in class flying paper airplanes for my final. what the fuck is my college experience right now?
Randomize
