We are allowed to think Jacob from Twilight is hot in 468 days!
I don't know what is sadder, the fact that you figured that out or the fact that I can't wait until then!!
We are like the golden girls with less cheesecake and more drugs.
I never Thought the day id see a chick shove a 2liter up her vag. that happened last night
She wants her shit back. Clearly she missed the cheaters-get-their-shit-ritually-burned clause.
Just got the test results back. All clean, Now whose an idiot for going bareback in South America for 3 months straight.
had to ask my 13 year old sister if she knew any dealers... she did. it's good to be home.
The last time I saw you, you were rolling around on the ground at the bar.....
.....well it was bound to be an interesting night since I was chasing my pulls with pulls....
speaking of creep .. love how I kept touching strangers faces at the bar ... and saying "Don't worry I'm a dermatologist"
She refuses to believe she pulled down her pants and spanked her ass in front of us
I only see on penis in this picture but I assume there is another lurking out of sight.
You have ruined sex with him for me. Now all I think is "boy scout" and I want to go home
And that was the night we had mind-blowing sex with the score from Raiders of the Lost Ark blaring on vinyl in the background...
It also means I'm watching porn with mario earphones so i can hear. Possibly the best way to mastrabate EVER
I feel like I beer bonged a ton of asbestos
The last thing I remember is talking to the firefighter next to me and he was giving me fruit.
Randomize
