How do I recover from singing "your body is a wonderland" on his voicemail?
You don't even understand how penises react in the cold. I'm like a 8 year old boy right now.
The voicemail says i shouldn't bother ever showing my face there again, i don't understand
We visited your boss last night. guess you wont be paying the rent this month, eh?
There's an australian, my relationship has no hope.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
theres still like 7 beers in the gutter from the roof party we had last night. i dont know how we got up there. but we need to get those beers down.
So ahh..."Multicultural Night" turned into "Fuck the Neighbor Night"
Exactly. Motivated vaginas are the best kind of vagina
When this bachelor party is over and your life is in ruins, you have my permission to die.
True love is when you jack off and continue talking to the girl you like
Why do you text me weird shit like this?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
hope your day is as exciting as mine- one of our trauma patients just stole an ambulance out of our bay... WITH AN EMT STILL IN IT.
Once you share a nude experience with someone and three Norwegian guys, you're bound for life.
I would rather suck a dick or two than go there
Funny story... I got into my car and my porn started playing over my Bluetooth.
Never joke about your clitoris.
last night you made out with a 19 year old on a bar and i woke up with a swede in my bed. lets just say that never happened.
Randomize