lol earlier she was acting like a normal gf... and then BANG! shes touching herself again...
We all know the best way to start a relationship is greeting while at least one of you are intoxicated, dual facebook stalking, and a two week long game of 20 questions via texts to 'really' get to know each other. In that order.
I wouldn't have it any other way. It's like a fairy tale!
i'd like someone to explain to me why my clothes are all sticky. including my fanny pack. yes, this is a mass text.
I wish i could call my weed and hear it ring. That's how i found my phone.
Just got walked in on during safety inspections
Think you passed?
You had me sold at "fucking you down the slide"
end of the world party next friday. virgin sacrifice. tell me you know someone whos still a virgin
somehow I feel like "adventures with cocaine and molly" wouldn't be an appropriate "How I Spent My Spring Break" essay topic.
He initiated the conversation by sending me a picture of his penis at 4 am
I couldn't find the oven mitts so I used a thick stack of tortillas
I don'y know if I should feel accomplished or disgusted. I just ate a dozen cookies all to myself. I'm leaning more towards accomplished.
You need to stop showing people the things i drunk-text to you... i have a reputation to uphold here
I realize that my conversation topics seem to only be about bees and my cross dressing fiance. Thank you for being my friend.
This is a test message to see whether or not the recipient is alive.
Not only is he funny, he had a REALLY big dick
He's old enough to be your father!
REALLY. BIG. DICK.
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