Just puked on the beach. Hungover. In front of my parents. I love summer.
I'm sweating so much right now i look like Whitney Houston
Well they kicked us out after we started heckling the acrobats
Seriously wondering if smoking a bowl for lunch was a bad idea.
OR THE BEST. STAY TUNED.
You'd think if the campus holds 28,000 undergrad I wouldn't run into three people I've hooked up with in one day
Just helped a homeless man panhandle outside of Wawa, made him $6.31. Where are you?
I just can't promise there won't be a reason to hit you in the face with a dildo again in the future.
I really couldn't care less what she looks like. That's why The Lord Our God gave us doggy-style.
I'm still me, I just happen to have things in my porn library that you may not have expected
Only you would come out as bi like that
Sweet! It'll be a "that-minor-I-used-to-serve-alcohol-to-is-no-longer-a-minor" party!!!
I can't sleep. Send Llama pictures.
I have two bottles of emergency tequila stashed under my desk at work.
NOT PREGNANT HIGH FIVE!
Last thing googled on my laptop last night was vagina chaffing. What the fuck?
be the chaos you wish to see in the world...
i'm trying to figure out how to respond to that in text
Randomize
