So I had sex in the woods... it was just as dirty as you'd expect it would be.. and not in a good way.
Saved 180 Bucks tonight. Pulled my own tooth. More money to party with.
I won the karaoke contest at the bar last night, when they called my name i was doing blow off the toilet seat, i thought they caught me, i didnt even know there wasa contest
Of course my walk of shame coincided with the alumni marathon on campus. But, I did get a thumbs up from the woman handing out water.
No He hasn't done that since the time he came in his own eye
Guess whose mug shot is NOT on the Internet anymore?!?!
It started out just like any other night: was watching a Zach Effron movie, drinking tequila out of a water bottle. I don't understand how this got out of hand.
He just asked me if I'd be interested in couples therapy. Fuck my life.
Showering in not my own throw up is really hittin the spot right now.
that is terrible, if I can't drink Gatorade when I'm hungover I don't wanna live in this world. that's like denying wild rams to run free in the wild and frolic
Do you remember making out with the dude in the back of my cab last night?? You said his mustache tickled your tongue.
My mind doesn't wanna day drink but my heart does.
At what point can I admit that I hate going to house parties?
I don't wanna stand in your shitty kitchen making small talk while I guard the quality booze I brought.
right after that u started calling me g-force and started trying to bellyslide down his drive way
Is constant horniness a medical condition? Because a husband, a boyfriend and an office side piece should be enough penis for one girl - but they’re not :-(
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