Maybe i shouldn't have told him the key to getting in my pants was double vodka sodas and Nelly's song "grillz."
In other news I saw a pack of make believe zombies walking down green st.
gotta love wednesdays
he asked me to hangout with him...and his son
Plans for halloween need to outrank Caesar, Cleopatra and Mark Antony's threesome...just saying
She's an honest to god fucking ballerina. She did things I don't have names for.
Just did the walk of shame in front of his dad while I was wearing his gym shorts and my heels from graduation last night. Keep it classy '12
well his attempt to make a white russian with instant coffee, gone off milk, and that weird probably illegal vodka we bought the other day isnt going well
We really shouldn't need this many nicknames for the women you've had sex with.
So I bet a guy he could drink two irish car bombs faster than me and I lost. now he gets to name our first son. sory.
you can't let guys come on your chest and then hog my blanket
I never realized how you can accidentally go home with someone until tequila got involved.
I think I sold my soul to a dominatrix last night.
He brought me Plan B in the snowstorm.
A+ 👏🏼
COCAINE IS GR8
Quick question: now that you've broken up, should I also delete the nudes your boyfriend sent me while you were together??
Randomize
