there is a homeless man oan crack poledancing on a fence... now hes humping it...
all the sharp corners in my house are covered with litter foam blocks. al set for partying
Nothing like throwing up 1/2 price appatizers and 2 4 1 personal pitcher in uniform to remind myself what a succesful failure I am
she went to her friend's wedding and caught the bouquet. as the unwilling rebound, can i run away now?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He told me that a camel appeared out of nowhere and it told him to quit smoking...
Your cat is quite the conversationalist after some tequila and shrooms
well, the drug dealer I've been fucking the past 5 months gave me a chilis gift card for Christmas, so things are looking up.
I need like a hormone stopper. Or a chastity belt. Or like a lady business alarm that goes off when I'm being too drunk.
Hooked up with a guy solely because he had a chameleon. Priorities.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
he said he'd buy me TWO burritos if I took my shirt off
You're 34. You can't make guys wait till the third date anymore. Step it up!
I just found out two girls I dated met each other, bonded over how much they hate me, started dating and are gonna get married soon.
i will not be out-irished. not this night. if i don't wake up tomorrow handcuffed to a hospital bed, i have failed my ancestors.
And what in gods fuck were you drinking. It tasted like windex with a mixture of juce
That's too much drama for once a month dick... that's in-house dick drama only
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