One of her kids, Dakota I think, got stuck in a ceiling fan and she had a fit, thats when she found the penis hat.
We just got really drunk and bought toilet paper. Successful Monday.
You know you had good weekend wheb we you hook up with three different girls and you don't feel no pain when u pee in the morning
I have realized now that neither the top nor bottom of a bunk bed is safe for sex....
Did I tell you I had a charge show up for $36 on a credit card I haven't used in 6 months from Wild Wings? It was that night we slept across the street from the bar.
You're not on my level until you shop at Petsmart for sex accessories.
He was the one that got away. From my vagina.
HOLY FUCK COMFIEST CHAIR EVER
The only difference between us and a pack of 14 year old girls is substance abuse
As I read your response saying I need a tan before I can become a go-go dancer, a girl cane up to work and gave me 10 coupons for 100 days of tanning for a dollar.
This is fate. You were destined to be a stripper.
You very well can't change your mind now. It would upset the natural flow of life.
sexting foreigners is the best. they respond with silly things like "love that tits"
OMG he dropped his pants for me. Granted it was to show me where he got stabbed but still...
christmas shopping: 3 hours in the liquor store...
Please tell me why I’m standing naked in the kitchen drinking pickle juice out of the jar & there is a container of potatoe salad with no lid & a spoon in it on the floor 🤦♀️
I turn 40 next week. I deserve to celebrate the end of my 30’s with a 21 year old dick
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