she took her bra off and it was like the puppet strings had been dropped. her tits totally deflated.
He got so drunk that he tried hitting on a girl using nothing but his Samuel L. Jackson soundboard application on his Iphone
I'll have my TA grade the tests, she needs something to do anyway. Wanna race to the bar on segways?
Well call me tomorrow, it's a great story that may lead to me being fired and/or possibly being buried in a shallow grave somewhere out in wine country.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Sometimes I hate my life and then I remember I live in the WORLD CAPITAL OF RUM
I pretty much landed into this relationship penis first
Nothing ends a night of heavy drinking better than banging to three six mafia in your own driveway
They don't even know who I am but they just woke me up with maracas and invited my boobs to a kegger
I'm so hungover I just peed on my hand and left it, didn't wash... Killin it in 2915
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I told her to to let go of her rationtal thoughts and just enjoy the fact that i was going down on her till she passed out from sheer orgasmic pleasure.
I can't believe just smoked out of a pear
I can't believe you had a pear already made to smoke out of, that was impressive
I texted him "my vagina is pounding for you"
I know, you made me proof read it.
hot take: drunk me can walk through walls?
I can barely operate my hands; what makes you think I can operate my dick
Are we allowed to ho on the roof?
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