You were wearing a sombrero. And a crown. And told me to use the nerf gun to protect your room from the cat. You don't have a cat.
we are driving next to a guy driving and masturbating while looking at a naked magazine. I love LA
I'm tempted to see how fat I can get before he leaves me. It's obvious we're playing a game of chicken here.
Today the house voted to defund Planned Parenthood but to continue funding NASCAR. I fucking hate everything.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Everything in my purse is 100% saturated in red wine, which made it challenging to cover up my booze breath with franzia soaked gum
We should start a Help That Bitch Out Fund and split the donations evenly between you two.
It's almost like a boob-text, but it's not. Because it was live. And you were showing a bunch of people.
Four times in one night? That Energizer bunny outfit lived up to the hype.
My mouth taste like pussy and my dad noticed. Hahahaha
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
It's either gonna be a cock in my mouth or a burger. You decide which.
I'm hurting so bad I actially had to wait for my mini wheats to get soggy before I could eat them..
you start one little fire by the lake and the police want to talk to you all night...
Was your wine and cheese snap taken from the toilet?
I'm pretty sure I asked his brother if he was gay while drunkenly falling to the ground.
wtf guys I thought we agreed on no more knives. So much for not destroying the house
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