My favorite part of our friendship is your tits.
You keep asking me questions like I have this magical thing called a memory
I'd be more interested in girls if they were more interested in anal.
i just stepped in cum. i hate you.
Thats what happens when you don't swallow.
I'm drunk at the doctor. It's not that fun. Overrated in fact.
Bob the builder, bob the uilder bob the builder bbbbbbbbbbbbbbbbjbbbbbiotch!pp!!!!
i just added no after every hockey player in my phone..
Just had a flashback of dry humping a man lying in the street while Jim (dressed as santa) screams 'HAVE YOU BEEN A GOOD BOY?!'
I ate 12 cupcakes in less than 24 hours, so no judgement here.
Dude are you wearing a trashbag right now?....
I seemed to have misplaced my pants...
She really has to stop the coke at some point. Won't she run out of money eventually?
Won't she run out of nose eventually?
He talked for 3 hours straight on how his dad is a dentist how fuck do you think my night was
I just turned down the best booty call of my life because I have to make a cheesecake. I guess this is growing up.
You casually put your finger in my ass and other people are weird..
Yeah like stabbing myself through the eye with a coffee stir and bleeding out all over the office rug
Randomize
