It was amazing what she could do with her one good arm.
Well whatever you do have, it sure worked on me.
A Penis?
tonight is proof that a xbox 360 will always be more reliable than a girl ever will
and a girl gets the red ring of death every month
but instead of smelling like hand cream and homemade cookies, she smells like a yeast infection.
just tripped. bootyfest 2012 will be my engagement party. i saw the whole future. i'm moving to the beach.
I would have done it. But then again I am a starving student who can manipulate my brain into thinking my decision was somehow morally justifiable.
I feel that the drunker I get, the drunker Facebook gets.
Bitch, it's 2 in the afternoon.
My CPA just snapchatted me a picture of her playing beer pong at a picnic. Time to do my own taxes?
I started singing I believe I can fly in the shower and it was like the first stage of insanity
This is my college life. Rolling at 4PM on a Wednesday to skrillex in the parking lot of a mexican restaurant.
Somehow his homemade liquor activated memories of my semester abroad three years ago. I ended up yelling random medical advice in German, while my roommates played dress-up with the cat stoned out of their minds. I consequently gave up on dating. Back in the ONS game.
I think I was just recruited to join a religious lesbian cult by these 3 really pretty girls and I'm tempted to join
Last thing I remember at your house last night is your dad leaning on the beer pong table and saying "you guys can fucking party"
It's been three years since Kelly shit in the to go box that we put in Sam's mailbox after we broke up. Considering Sam and I are friends again, should I finally tell him?
What better than a girl who loves jager, sexts like a champ and is down for t-bell at any hours of the night? oh wait, NOTHING.
Randomize
