Black lace...the rest is up to ur imagination
I love you
are you drunk
yes but I def love you, we should get married
But I'm Jewish
embrace Jesus
You want to go to a white party at LAX
Clubs are lame especially themed ones. Im not in a fucking episode of laguna beach
I know this may seem inappropriate, but are you gonna bring any blow to the wedding?
Not till Sunday. I'm going to sleep in my car. And I know. This place is insane. Blood on the stAirs 5 dollar slices of pizza. A girl on our floor had a stroke.
At beerfest, hammered, going to try to not get naked in public but i cant make any promises
His mom always writes on my facebook right after we have sex. it's like she knows. with her scary mom psychic powers
I've woke up in his bed 4 out of the past 6 mornings. I feel like this might be the time to learn more about him then his first name and what kind of beer he drinks.
Denis dont give a fuck, Denis drinks out of straws. Denis disregards the fire station & bought 18 fire hoses so he can fight it himself if the farmhouse is on fire.
You should know two things about me,,,1) I am highly sexual and 2) I am HIGHLY competitive so you telling me about how much sex you had with the other girl makes me say "challenge accepted"... you should hydrate.
Dude my doctor just legit got down on her knees and loudly begged me to do my pap smear
I lost my voice. So I'm going to pretend I'm Ariel with legs today.
I've never had sex that lasts this long though. It's ridiculous. I feel like I need a Gatorade and a sweatband and a sub.
Celebrated Veteran's Day by getting a Marine (who just got back from deployment in the middle east) drunk and laid for the first time in 6 months. #Murica
You know you've hit a new slutty low when you're simultaneously sexting and having a tea party with a 4 year old
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