is it really this hard to find a guy i can fuck and have a good time with who doesn't ask where things are going btwn us?
you sound like my dream girl
I lined up everyone's pillows and I'm playing Evel Knievel when I jerk off later.
I was dancing barefoot on glass at one point. That really sobered me up.
I was. I was trying to blow bubbles in the toilet after I threw up in it. They had to carry me everywhere. I lost a sock.
Did you not learn anything for "HERPES SCARE 2010".........
Ice cream after masturbating>masturbating any other time
I just burped jalapeños and cum. That was the most disgusting thing ever.
Highlight of the night was you walking into the men's room yelling "My husband is diabetic" and crawling under the stall to yell at me.
Yeah. I don't think I have anything left in me tho. I think I was throwing up tangible memories at one point.
I can taunt you with whatever I want. Like batman and sex.
I just made the pizza guy say helicopter six times in order to get his money. Even he knows how stoned we are.
I don't think you understand what laundry day means. I am wearing a swimsuit as underwear and my spanish club tshirt from junior high
Getting "I couldn't find the front door so I climbed in through window" drunk seems to be a habit of yours
Well I didn't know she was a dominatrix...so I kind of just went with it
The sex definitely would have been a perk. But not sitting in a ditch was what I was going for...
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