butt sex is not good for yourself don't do it
Thanks?
i was just lookin through my fb pics and i think im with a cat in like 40% of them..: how sad is my life
im on my way to getting "i just graduated college with no money, no job, and no plan" drunk
Guess who's still drunk but on time to court to represent a DUI?
You are my hero
So I gave him a handjob and now we aren't friends anymore
You're at Notre Dame. What did you expect?
My mom just admitted you were a good looking kid & if you weren't my friend & 30 years older she would do you. I'm going to commit suicide.
Wondering when "babysitting" formed into "sleeping on the couch for five hours nursing a hangover and giving the kids Nyquil."
my head gets it he sucks but my LAME FUCKING HEART IN MY VAGINA doesnt
This baby is an asshole
Just found a pack of birth control on the corner of Oakland and Thomas, so if your desperate its up for grabs.
I'm having salsa con queso and a leftover half-drank/flat red bull for breakfast. Nothing you propose doing today would be a downgrade.
Also, I've finally come to the point in the relationship when having sex with socks on is ok.
Really need a jack off emoji
Who do we write to about that?
what could you have possibly accomplished by watching 6 hours of a mythbusters marathon
well, i added sex in a wind tunnel to my bucket list
the fact that I've been his fuck buddy for a year, and I'm pregnant isn't bothering me. the fact that he didn't tell me about his girlfriend does.
Randomize
