i jus seen this fat chick walk buy look like she had don king coming out her arm pits..
im marching my happy ass in there and im not leaving until he cheats on his girlfriend!
She went to the bathroom before i broke up with her so i changed all 2500 of her songs on her computer to "I'm a cheating whore"
So the girl I hooked up with last night pretended to be from Comcast when my girlfriend stopped by this morning. She even made a fake appointment to check her internet. Best hookup ever.
You guys seriously fuck to bieber? That's embarrassing...
Some chick is drunk waving down a taxi with a slice of pizza.
I like the odds of his and my children being professional athletes too. To support me in my old age, see I do think about the future.
I'm on a mission. But just to make out with him so his relationship collapses and he is single when I come back in April.
Heb just said, and I quote, "let's go to Who's On Third and fuck a fishbowl with our mouths. I am going to fuck this van." and then he humped a van.
I mean there is a rehab there so its gotta be a good time
When you woke up the first word out of your mouth was "whoa"
I was feeling the aftermath of his penis
Well I shit myself on the way home from work today so there's that...
DAMN HIS BEARD AND ABILITY TO USE TOOLS ON A LADDER!!
Why are you barefoot at a strip club?
I have all the porn. Be there soon
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