turns out Discover card thinks that if you spend $450 at four different liquor stores in one evening that the card "must have been stolen"
So we tried to 69 with him on top. NEVER TRY IT. His balls were in my eyes and it was terrifying.
Pre-St Patricks Day Log: Threw up across a 14ft radius, this is why the irish dont drink tequila
That fucking fat Asian kid that NOBODY invited is stuck in the dryer again
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Everyone makes mistakes, yours just means you will forever be known as the chick that tried to steal a cheese plate from the funeral.
You mailed him a break up letter, because you thought the "joy of receiving a letter" would ease the pain of you dumping him.
Then he told me he was proud of me for remembering that i blew him that night.. Maybe my drinking is getting out of hand.
I respect you for how well you shave your vagina. It isn't easy and my dick faces out, not in.
Just had a tv talk show interview in my mirror. Got into to some pretty heavy shit man, would have made good viewing.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
you threw up into the pocket of your shirt. which was pretty damn polite
When I said 'i love my boyfriend' I didn't mean 'send me a picture of your penis'.
Just got arrested in my crocs and rolled up pants with a mr rogers sweater for literally fucking nothing can u come get me?
Let's say hypothetically if you were going to put icing on a penis and then lick it clean...what would you ice it with? Not a knife right?
You just accidentally called me. You kept saying "Really?! Really?!!" So I can only assume you are having sub par sex
I bet your mom's never met a girl who's thrown up at the presidential inauguration before though.
Randomize