the sex was like sticking it in a jar of mayonnaise
sitting with a guy who's looking at the cum stains on the bed. Do you think he's convinced it's from the cat?
No. He thinks you're slutty.
you woke up, pulled a beer bottle out of your pants..took a drink and went back to sleep.
When you wake up, I have rum and am in town
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You'd think, but when you nail one sorority sister, you might as well have nailed them all.
I wish him all the best and hope one day he can afford the surgery to remove his head from his ass
Guys, Black Friday does not exist in the world of dealing. Stop texting me asking what my deals are.
im in the post action - pre consequence stage.
Do the molecules within bourbon change when mixed with a cola to form a superior liquid treat?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
It's after midnight. I didn't find the answer to my problem, but I did find the bottom of a bottle of vodka, so... there's that.
That was so not worth putting pants on for.
Its 8 in the morning and I wouldn't pass a breathalyzer test, How's your day been?
Dude, I'm thinking today is Single as Fuck Friday because that's how I'm feeling
I woke up at 2 AM to find them in my living room with a radio flyer wagon full of milk glass plates and a Holstein cow. How am I going to explain this to my landlord!?!
Its mothers day... Can my present be an orgasm...for once?
Randomize