im walking the streets of bville with a bag of cat food..looking for my car. i dont ever want to turn 21 again.
no, i'm not a lesbian.. i just really want to fuck you while drinking, thats normal in a friendship.
How do you politely bring up someone's criminal record?
that was you who tried to jump in front of my car in the monkey suit wasnt it
it wasnt even considered partying. it was like "ok, who can get the most shitfaced and not pass out"
Seriously I just dipped a banana in vodka I really need to stop drinking
I'm not sure if it was the 11 shots or your naturally vibrant personality but I recall you being quite noisy that evening
Yep if he's taking selfies he's probably on drugs again.
Life update - currently drunk off my ass in the yoga room of SFO at 5:30 in the morning.
I don't care. She's the only girl to make me feel like my face is melting when she blows me.
Costco (TM). Making alcoholism affordable!
i just got drunk and created an entire Dr Seuss unit for my first graders.
You have to get it done early. Like a dick drive by. Hit it and run.
I'm at the store buying a new phone cause I pissed all over mine last night. Drunk me is expensive as shit.
I want to meet people. Preferably ones with penises
Randomize
