did not feel like going to store to get condoms last night so went to her pantry and got a sandwich bag and a rubberband
did it work?
nope
We're exchanging pot brownie recipes in my substance abuse class. This is going to be an awesome 7 weeks.
He spanked me with a plate. I'm not sure where this is going...
she sucked my dick to get the taste of the last guy's out. I need to find a new friend with benefits.
i said good morning to each one of his abs personally
she looked at me completely serious and said "orgasms are 15% Stronger during a hurricane" and started to take all her clothes off
We just had a sexually tense moment where we both chose the trough the pee. I love gay clubs.
We stayed up until 4:20 AM. The next thing I remember was waking up at 4 PM, like my internal alarm clock knew.
i woke up this morning and saw her in my bed and i said to myself, I think I might have a drinking problem.
First time since we broke up that I'm not drunk before noon...win for broken hearts everywhere
Statistics show that guys with slightly higher IQ scores and overly-trimmed eyebrows have micro penises. It's science.
I thought my holiday spirit was gone this year until I got banged to Christmas music. It's back.
Hey did you take a shower last night at like 4am?
"ummm...." (Thinking in my head) wet towel, soaking wet hair, clean pjs on backwards... "that would make more sense then what I thought happened..."
Legit sprained my cooter. No joke. Icing her down as we speak.
So I might join you on the drunk train on the way to poor decisions.
Randomize
