he kept bringing up different times we had sex and i wouldnt say anything back. i would never confirm nor deny the situation...like a politician ya kno
Dude its so hot it my room I can't jack off. Its gonna be a long summer.
I just looked at a girl and was like what disease does she have? And then my mind caught up ohhh shes pregnant.
want to know what my life has come to? I just took a 45 min shower banging on the walls and making loud sex noises so my neighbors think I get some.
Yep. I'm going to buy a sex toy and a LARP prop on the same trip. Welcome to my life.
If you've ever wondered what a shitshow is, just watch me at the bar on a Friday. Or Tuesday. Take your pick.
We're going as conductors of the hot mess train and nobody rides for free
Our tip jar will say "just put the tip in, see how it feels"
This is my punishment for trynna have a festive time with a stranger. I always forget you can't get weird with one night stands
he kept insisting he didn't have my number, so i called his phone and my number came up as "yeaaaaaaaaah!"
I just feel like I'm worth a little bit more than your recycled nudes...
The cop told me I was the prettiest guy he'd arrested in a while. I'm still not sure if it was a come on or not.
Who loses their virginity to fucking Flo Rida
She is carving a little coffin out of some wood for her hamster that died. I'm flying home tonight.
Dont ask questions just say words. where can i find plan b?
Let's just say when I woke up I was still drunk. My hangover hit me around noon so I chilled w my dad and took a bath and shower at the same time. You just can't do that at college
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