He gave his mom his old phone, and I am SO paranoid
Did you send adult things?
Um. Yes would be the understatement of the year
I just used my 7th grade year book to figure out who I hooked up with last night. Being home is magical.
Some girl in the stall next to me just yelled "fuck yes i started my period!" she came out of the stall and we high fived. who am i to judge? i do that every month.
4 am. She strained the mac and cheese onto her legs. She has no skin.
just letting you know, you took a hit of the blunt while sleeping. happy birthday
It's titled "A countdown to death. A psychological look at the downward spiral of actress Lindsay Lohan and her inevitable Hollywood demise" This dissertation is genius. Not a single sober moment for either Lindsay or myself. Good stuff!
Dear lord though. So much glitter. It's just a big gay explosion and all of my whore muscles hurt.
Good luck getting that all cat food off in the shower dumbass
I need thought I would ever have to use the phrase "Don't fart on that Calzone".. Thanks for that
Just spent the morning washing Bailey's and Guiness out of my clothes -_-
I think i should either cut my hair or buy a dildo.
I've had pants off for 3 hours now. America.
so i showed up to the bars in a sombrero and a tie as a headband... so yeah, they didn't let me in
You should probably come home from vacation now. I make badddd decisions when you're gone.
I was like ahh were on two different pages, I know there's rumors of me moving to boston but I can't and I'm not adding long distance to the relationship I have with my 31 year old recently divorced ex boss
Randomize
