Right on... I dropped my chapstick
I blacked out
Until that no good dick sucking whore stays away from my boyfriend I am gonna start blowing all of his friends...
I'd suck a dick for hot wings now. A metaphoric dick that is
I've been sucking dick for sushi for weeks now...hasn't worked yet :P
watching E! true Hollywood story: curse of the lottery.. i'd probably spend all my money on blow and airplanes too..
I make my boyfriend pay for half of my birth control. We call it his monthly rent.
He just washed his hands with scrubbing bubbles yelling "They work hard so I don't have to!"
it makes more sense than having a misplaced asshole
im not talking about this
You insisted on squirting shots of captain morgan in your mouth with a turkey baster by like 930.
ummm i just drove by ur house and ur passed out on the porch. please call me when u get this
Apparently she buried shit in the snow back in January and now that it's melted I found a flip flop, 4 spoons, a bottle of smirnoff, and 14 different candy bars
I would convert to being a Republican and Mormon just to sleep with Romney's sons. The things I would to do them.
He's tweaking out . If he's on fucking bathsalts and eats my face like a chalupa pull the plug. I don't want to live with no fucking face. Pull. The. Plug.
I have no idea. He was just running around wearing a horse mask yelling "bumfuck" repeatedly. We figured we'd just let him get it out of his system.
But how will the next generation learn about life choices without a Jersery Shore?
You didnt text me.. I'm on your street with golf clubs
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