I would do horrible things to your vagina.
Prove it.
I think I found my soulmate. This guy in front of me is yelling about getting laid while holding two beers and texting. I think this is love.
you kept trying to convince me i had aids because my head hurt
I'm watching Intervention to get pumped up for tonight
he was fingering the outside of my pants..i knew that was my cue to leave
once she started licking the door on the stall, i got out of there and told her bf "this is your problem now" and walked away
He posted a picture of my bra on facebook with the caption "I don't know who I hooked up with last night but if this is yours please come pick it up".
She threw all the patio furniture in the pool saying she was building a castle.
I met the perfect girl for you, she's smart, likes cars, has at least one ear, and really blue eyes!
please elaborate on, "atleast one ear"
I almost punched the night nurse in her face. I woke up and she was standing over me.
I will fight anything that is not spinning right now
I'm starting to blur the boundary between reasonable senioritis and self-destruction. Somewhat-openly hittin the flask in 11am class
Finished sriting an apology letter to my liver 2 weeks before st. Patricks game on
I wonder how drunk we can get before Christmas Caroling turns into trespassing.
How much glitter would I have to ingest in order for a "magnificent" amount to appear in my ejaculate?
Randomize
