She punched me in the face after i pulled it out and grabbed my cell phone. Ill be the one hiding in the bushes with one shoe.
So she farted while we were having sex but I was afraid she would stop because she was emberessed so i just went ahead and took the blame and apologized
I saw his package. It spoke to me.
you missed a midterm to shack? WOW. How desperate are you?
Ps what kind of horrible ppl are we that we both checked blackberries during sex and neither minded?
I threw up into my coffee this morning.
Whatever. We're stealing a penguin. Your not allowed near him... You did this to yourself.
It smelled like mall pretzels. Of course I investigated.
You opened a bottle of wine with a shoe and a wall last night.
dude, i just accidentally flashed your mom. BIG TIME.
All I've been thinking about for the past 12 hours is sex and SEAWORLD
I didnt realize until i got your email that what i've been missing in my life is someone to send me dog gifs
I basically gave Miranda rights to the guy I hooked up with, jus so we were all clear what was happening
You know you've been having sex for 9 months when you do Rock Paper Scissors for who has to go on top
If God is analyzing my life right now extremely proud or dissapointed but either way I took wednesday night drinkin to new levels
Randomize
