those bitches were sniggering at my man-pris like they were goddesses of fashion!
...dude i pray you are quoting something, someone, anyone...
i think i would be more confident if i were chinese.
just had sex in his gielfriend's bed, and puked all over it. i need to get out of here.
Preparing for wine wednesday. How would you feel about improvising and starting a white russian wednesday tomorrow instead? you know, shake things up a bit.
he told me that my best friend was "one the most attractive people he's ever seen" and wondered why he didn't get a blow job
Just went through campus. In the span of 2 min I saw 4 places I've had sex. And thats just down one street. Man do I miss college.
There is a nerf war going on here. I just cleaned the blood out of the fridge
Just witnessed my roommate pick her nose and eat it in her sleep. Remember, you made out with that.
So last night I taught an old homeless dude to respond to "Blue" so I could shout your my boy Blue at the party
I just read "to infinity and beyond" as "to infidelity and beyond" something is seriously wrong with my psyche
That's how you know it was a good night if two months later you finally realized your skirt never made it home and you found out where it was.
not a day goes by that I don't wish you were here or I there. Today it was because I had the desire to get high and go look at the jellyfish at the aquarium and you're the perfect buddy for that.
Stole my 7th stop sign and 3rd speed limit sign last night. Not even sure how because they were bolted to a cement wall. Tequila gives you strength you didn't know you had.
I mean seriously with your cock and my tits combined we could rule the world. Pinky and the brain style
Well the hawks lost... so, of course, the only logical course of action was a bonfire in the middle of the street.
Randomize
