i just dont know how to see an unattractive person as more than a friend
He played with my vagina like it was a turntable
saw you walking with that piece of shit
and that piece of shit just read that
you jizzed all over me and yelled "makeover"
we just fucked in the mcds parking lot
wasnt he a virgin
yes we got celebratory milkshakes after
Went to my car this morning. Found a waffle from Waffle House in the front seat. No idea how it got there. So hung over I ate it.
Wow thanks 4 throwing jello at me an yelling who invited that guy to all the guys at the bar
Headed to the bar now. If I smell faintly of latex and tuna, it's just the new scent I'm trying.
So basically, I've just woken up in another random bed and I go to get my pants and he's wearing them. Like my underwear is in them... What the fuck is wrong with my life?
just woke up in a camero on the way to nebraska, i would appreciate it if you answered your phone.
2nd year in a row being a arrested before school starts...tradition at its finest
I feel like I've asked you "are you okay?" one too many times in the last 48 hours. You're hopeless.
So I almost broadcasted the porn from my phone to the boardroom chrome cast
You think you can just send me a picture of your dick and everything will be ok?
Yep.
You left me a note that said "The Earth is blowing up. Bring the Rosé." WTF.
Randomize
