I'm going to use my one free fuck up card tonight.
What'd you do?
Its more like what im about to do.
Ask Niel how long his lasts if he plays with it a lot.
he says 15-20 minutes depending on the porn.
no his phone, idiot.
White boys cant dance....we did an empirical study
I made her dinner: Beefaroni with grated parmesan cheese on top. Luckily she showed up drunk and gave me head, "For spending so much time preparing."
I just tried to light a cigarette with a tube of lipstick. If I had stayed in girl scouts maybe I could've made that happen.
i just saw her new tattoo, how much more trashy can you get than having "taste the rainbow" on your body for the rest of your life?
She got all mad because she said it was "unprofessional" to tell my manager to go fist herself.
I don't think the car's salesman understands that I am about to vomit on him.
Well pretty sure I lost 3 of my best friends in one week. Remember when I said I wasn't sure if I was gonna be a better person or a more despicable one in 2012. Despicable wins.
I kind of learned that hotels are unnecessary. Boys will just take you home, but that's tough with a group. I believe in us, though.
I pull out like 90% of the time, but that's just to make art.
I was a battlefield of empty bottles and bodies. We though we won, but the booze had the last laugh.
I feel so much better about my break up knowing that he's having his 26th birthday at Rollar kingdom\n
Highlight of the weekend: getting roundhouse kicked in the dick while switching from reverse cowgirl.
Drunk man just fell out of said wheelchair
Randomize
