Do you ever make guys send you dick pictures just cause it's hilarious?
she said she likes her vagina punished
being with you and your tiny dick is punishment enough
I envy you so much. I get girls who pee on my floor and you get girls who leave in the middle of the night
Its weird to pet your cat with a boner
What the fuck?
the story is to long to tell you via txt so when you notice the tattoo on your ass call me.
this is random but who was banging in the shower in our condo?
I just beer bonged. Soco and spite please get on my levvl my hair is in buns
I think mounting someone proves who's house this is
Drunk cheerio confetti may seem like a brilliant idea when your drunk, but believe me, the next day, its a horrible, horrible mess.
the tv said "its small, its comfortable..." and i started laughing... safe to say he lost any dignity he had left...
Well would you like to come over anyway? I will be wearing sweatpants and disappointment. Also, I have Jack Daniels and I've managed to get drunk in under half an hour. But my boobs look awesome.
Would it be weird to jack off in the hospital?
He ripped my sink off my bathroom wall and then threw up in it.
Just rode a bull topless for a free bar tap for a month
Turns out the grown up version of seeing your teacher shopping is seeing your therapist is on tinder
Randomize
