Running into every girl no one would hook up with here at rick's. Typical.
On a scale from 0 to 24...wait, 3 to 24, where 6 is the lowest and 12 is the highest, how freaking high re you right now?
you kept trying to make scrambled eggs with 3 hardboiled ones.
DO NOT FUCK HIM ON MY BEAN BAG CHAIR
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
when I picked him up he smelled like cheeseburgers, had a bite mark around his left nipple and we think someone stabbed him in the forehead with a pencil... it was like the Hangover meets Texas Chainsaw Massacre
She makes me want to have breakfast margaritas every day
We're too lazy too send a pic of out balls. Just assume this is a pic of our balls and respond accordingly.
High school girls are buying me shots. This will not end well.
She yelled "taste the gay rainbow" in a biker bar. She's either brave or fuckin stupid.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Let us bow our heads and pray that I don't throw up in the tub
I told her I had a small penis. Then replied if Peter Pan won with a dagger then so can I
I smoked then listened to a voicemail from my mom...I ended up yelling at my phone cause she wasn't answering me. Forgot it was a recording.
I'll give you another blowjob if you bring me some cake.
I just saw puke on the road at the same stoplight i threw up at sunday morning! Makes me smile inside.
When you called me I said did you make it home. You said yeah. Then you said you didn't know where you were. I said you were at home and you said but where. I said you are in the bathroom. Then you said oh, you're so smart lol
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