Guys are so much hotter at OU. Come my mating season, I am flying south like the geese in the wintertime.
Sweet. Might not hurt to poop on the floor anyway.
today's thought: if you're naming your fb album "wEdDiNg dAy!!!!!!" you're too young to get married
I'm babysitting and we're watching Barney and I don't understand why Barney can magically make band hats appear but he makes them make shitty ass instruments.
Barney's a jerk
No, she passed out instead. I have the worst luck, its like Jesus is mad at me for having the same birthday as him
I'm doing homework tonight but if you end up going out drinking I would like one courtesy peer pressure text.
Sweet and genuine is kinda lame. I'm more of a bust all over your face and hair kinda guy.
Uhm the hair is off limits bro, conditioner can only go so far.
Bro? You just made it a target.
IT WAS SO BIG. I FORGOT GOD MADE THEM LIKE THIS.
So I hooked up with a guy with a mustache and woke up on a dragon futon underneath a dragon yin-tang tapestry... My life is spiraling in a weird way.
You said dick pics aren't attractive
Random ones, from strangers, no. But a beautiful penis I know and love, absolutely :3
Hey sorry if you felt me holding your hand in the middle of the night I was actually just checking you had a pulse
well it was naive of you to actually think you're the only bday sex he had lined up for him today. I'm just suprised he actually had a line forming outside of his room
just saw those girls we met the other night. i happen to be wearing a bunny suit and driving your smart car. i think its safe to say thats a no go situation.
So there we are, fucking beneath the Christmas tree and I glance up and see one of the local Jehovah's witnesses staring in horror through the decorative glass in the front door. I'm so proud of us.
I didn’t say it was classy, I said it was sexy
Randomize
