Just TALKING to him is better than banging my bf, imagine what actual banging will be like.
well i had to explain to their mom why the kids i babysit for won't stop repeating the phrase "nice juicy guido"
so the party was at my house but some how i ended up being the only one who slept outside
Oh I forgot to tell u. I hit someone with my car in the RiteAid parking lot. More like a nudge.
Please find an outlet that isn't stripping or getting drunk and arrested
I brought him to this party even though we're not together anymore because we made a bet on who would have sex first, and it is a sausage fest up in here.
i just had a pap smear and two shots. lets hit the beach.
I AM COVERED IN FAKE BLOOD AND REAL CUM. I AM AWESOME
I vaguely recall putting a toaster in the freezer.
I just wish my penis was a person so I could give him a high five.
When i was tripping hard i was banging Jeff's roommate and her room turned into Hogwarts
Also when we were banging i thought my high school librarian was perched up on top of the stereo like a gargoyle but it ended up just being her cat
I've officially dedicated my newly single life to making myself squirt.
Good news y'all just straight up snorted 2 adderall and I'm not a real being on this plane of existence anymore and I'm ready for finals
I think next time I give head I'm gonna try making the chewbacca noise.
I look forward to it
I like how I can go from sucking dick in the my basement to singing along to veggie tales with my family in a span of 10 minutes.
Randomize
