Theres this tee in the mall and it says all girls just wanna have safe sex. U make me think thats a lie
Eric got herpes from Jo-ann
That's what he deserves for hooking up with a french canadian
Thank you for holding my vodka while the police let me ride their horse.
You need to get here now. A drunk girl just stumbled into our apartment. shes laying on the floor by our door.
I just fell off my chair and knocked over the table. People are staring. That hungover.
I feel like we're taking advantage of the fact that our R.A has cerebal palsey.
You had a towel around you and you called it your shot bib.
Land Before Time marathon. we drink every time littlefoot almost eats a treestar.
How do you feel about fucking me quick and then me leaving to go do arts and crafts?
I almost shit my pants in anger over your moral sanity.
He told me he wants to eat me out all day while I lay in bed watching football. Seems like a solid foundation for a relationship to me.
Apparently last night I yelled "the cops were called on a mother fucker and that mother fucker is me." And then proceeded to exorcise a sandwitch.
I went shopping for a dress that was baptism and bar appropriate.
Well you know I have tits so that's half the battle
See I insist I'm not a groupie and then I say things like "will bang for a backstage pass".
Randomize
