I am one bad relationship away from having 30 cats.
just puked in a purse in the store. some girl asked if i was gonna buy it now and i laughed and asked her why id want a bag some dude just puked in. her face looked like she saw the devil.
Just saw a girl i'm pretty sure is simultaneously jailbait and a milf. I never want to leave mexico.
i could have sworn she did an overextended split with her legs over her head but now i think it was just the drugs
He threw up in the campfire, the alcohol in his puke caught on fire. Im marrying this man
In the UK. Bar special, every drink costs a pound. I'm two shots away from being deported. God save the queen.
i was really disappointed no one would drink beer from our cleavage last night except for us
Just played slippy cup. Flip cup plus slip n slide. What did you do with your fourth of july?
We just broke into a lion king sing along. Understanding is not possible.
eating jello out of the cup. with my face. while on the toilet. i am at my lowest.
There is a special place in Hell for whichever one of you put Ben Gay on my dildo. It was a very uncomfortable April 1.
SERIOUSLY WHY DOES EVERYONE INSIST THAT THEY NEED TO SEE MY BOOBS
Because there's a shortage of perfect breasts in this world. You should start charging for viewings.
also had sex in his sister's princess style bunk bed.
but you are a princess that one was appropriate.
Im in my back seat in my own drive way with two beers left to shotgun and watching the sunrise. Am I over her yet?
I don't know. Seeing the vagina stretched out beyond normal proportions is like watching your favorite superhero die.
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