dont ever smoke after you drink again... i dont think ive ever seen...or heard of someone throwing up and farting at the same time. that is, if you were farting.
the last three girls i tried to get with all believed in abstinence... i think gods trying to keep me from being a father
i think girls just don't want to fuck you
its a vaginal recession for me, ill take what i can get
You passed out and she managed to carry you all the way back to your dorm last night. I believe your testicles now her property.
Who topped off the "random beer mix" beer bong with a pinch of pepper?? All you could taste was busch and pepper...
Well, I now know how many glasses of wine it takes for me to fuck my neighbor.
I made Mark strip for me and do a stripper dance. I put 2 dollars in his mouth
How do I enter a double puke and rally into my calorie counter?
I will sleep with anyone I have to to make sure you don't get deported
She failed the Charleston discretion test, although puking in her armpit was very innovative.
As soon as he came we went to Dairy Queen. That drive through lady was very condescending about our "just fucked" ice cream.
It's funny to me the only time that you clean up is when your weed delivery man is on the way.
you know she was a bad idea when your mom offers to pay for an eHarmony account
Yeah but the jokes on her right? We just got a new couch and hers still has a cum stain on it from like six months ago
If we were teenagers we would intentionally be trying to burn down this historic landmark
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