did I really admit that id have sex with that cougar had I been more drunk?...ugh...i need to masterbate more
I'm talking like I woke up and her bra was spinning around caught on my ceiling fan
She started crying. I don't think she's gotten head from a sax player before.
I feel like the only solution to this is to get naked and lay in the shower for a hour then see what my penis wants to do.
I may be new to bar life, but full on grabbing my vag shouldn't happen...anywhere.
we drunkly made out in the middle of the street beside the homeless guy playing the flute. Not how I imagined our first kiss.
The best, and by the best I mean the worst, was the 7 month along pregnant chick in the skin tight body suit.
eating jello out of the cup. with my face. while on the toilet. i am at my lowest.
If you set your screensaver to be a slides show, make sure you remove dick pics first. This lesson 1 of living with your great aunt
WHY WONT HOT GETMAN MAKR PUPR WITH ME!!!!???!?!!
like are we talking 'quick beer' bad or 'break out the real vodka' bad
Funny story... I got into my car and my porn started playing over my Bluetooth.
does anyone know where bryan is?
last i saw he was naked, and crying in the bathroom because there was no more booze.
For the record, if you sneeze while you have a dildo in your vagina and you dont have a good grip on it, that thing can get some distance.
This Cougar is looking at me like I’m a piece of meat and buying me top shelf cocktails
I’m getting a fear boner thinking about what she might do to me
Randomize
