I want to kish your cheek
My cheeks are in Michigan
Oh my lips are kind of stretchy
I'm going to an arts college, I live next to the frat houses, and my room number is 420. god has plans for me and I couldn't be happier.
Umm ok I'm kinda freaked out right now bc the chick that lives next door is either having tantric sex or slowly suffocating her dog to death.
explaining to a nurse how i all most cut my finger off playing beer pong, she def just hand me a AA booklet.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Um I think everyone drunk and there's some douche on violin.
I woke up naked, with the lights on, using my backpack as a pillow and a pillow as a blanket.
my head gets it he sucks but my LAME FUCKING HEART IN MY VAGINA doesnt
Nothing like waking up naked and alone on your floor to remind you that you make life mistakes often.
We had him convinced Visine is flammable. He was genuinely freaked out that everyone would know when he was stoned.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Great. I will show up in your office wearing only oven mitts later today.
idk man, I was fucked up and eating fried rice at the grocery store, tried to wave at her but she just looked concerned at me.
and then I partied with my new dealers deaf pit bull. All around a good night I'd say...
how don't worse things happen to you?
Yiu ever laugh so hard you stop breathing? Turns out weed -can- kill you.
It's okay that we broke up and all but it's not okay that he still has my Chick-fil-A calendar card. This month is free fries!
That's okay I'm failing college because I'm to busy giving over the pant handjobs in class..
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