Gayer than 8 guys blowing 9 guys
wow, that really makes you stop and think.
it was like she wanted to be a once a week night stand
I don't really want to write this paper. It's the last one of the semester - I need to savor the feeling of procrastination.
He had a stripper pole in his bedroom. I didn't know whether to be impressed or creeped out.
i can't tell if you're serious or not, but 420 is gonna be pirate themed
why does the wii remote smell like your vag?
Dude, this is like the 4th time today I've had to use cruise control for a 25mph zone. This hangover is never fucking gonna end.
Where the fuck do you get consience sedatives from?
Shut the fuck up. It's not the end of the world. Now come get your asshole bleached with me or we're not roommates anymore.
Using the money underagers give me to buy this semesters books.. My mom would be so proud
Idk how I even got accepted into college because literally the only things my brain ever thinks about are YouTube videos of baby animals and sex.
By 9 pm this evening I'll have accomplished smashing with two different guys in two different time zones in the same day.
Stay hydrated
Fun FACT Saturday: Semen is great for my acid reflux
sometimes i like to lay one the floor and pretend im a carrot.
yeah, I woke up with nacho cheese crusted all over my face and head...a lone jalapeno still stuck in my ear...you win this round drunk nachos....
Randomize
