I didn't talk to you tonight because I've decided you look like a man.
remember when jerking off was fun and not a neccesity
bad decision saturdays are such a good decision
Archery is over so let's go back to not giving a fuck for the next 3 years and 11 months
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I need to make a new year's resolution to only pee in toilets. And it needs to start happening before the new year.
I would like to apologize once again for rubbing your thigh with my hands and face for a very long time last night.
I am at Brians in a pirate costume, what the hell am I thinking
Your boobs stole my birthday thunder!
He seems like a lot more than a waste of tequila
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm to the point of desperation where I stare at customers penis imprints through their pants all day
He told me that he's proud of our abnormalcy as a couple. I think it's the most romantic thing he's ever said.
You're telling that to the kid drinking Jack in nothing but a graduation cap
I want to start a guest book for my bed room so when dudes leave they can write a review
I said I wanted pizza tattoo on my ass and the tattooist asked me what I wanted on it.
Umm...sounds like a maybe. I broke my nose and have surgery next wed but if I'm ok by Friday I'm down.
Randomize