It was like a mary poppins bag, except a sexual mary poppins bag.
he said it was like fucking a big sack of slut potatoes
tried to order jimmy johns from the ER last night, the nurses did nottt approve
I want to apologize in advance in the event I put my boobs in your face
i just remembered i chipped my tooth last night when i pulled up your pants zipper with my teeth
congratulations to me i think I am on the road to legitimate alcoholism
cool. same. I'm in class drinking
NOT OKAY
sorry for partying
THATS NOT PARTYING THATS DRINKING IN CLASS
Apple should advertise that their phones are puke-proof. They would appeal to a whole new audience.
Tell them you aren't trying to make money, you are just the mr rogers of weed,its such a good feeling a very good feeling the feeling you know that were friends
Cops just came and got two guys out of my class. I can't do college. Seriously cannot rage at this school anymore.
Weed is now completely legal in Colorado and Washington. I repeat weed is now legal! I'm putting a deposit down on a house as we speak.
ROADTRIP.
Dicks are so weird. He has kind of a feminine comforter in the background.
i just looked at those "hey" messages and i was so confused and then i remembered we were practicing texting with our tongues.
You really need to not quote Anchorman while I'm giving you a serious blowjob.
What part of I just want to watch porn, eat Taco Bell, and masturbate did you not understand?
Sorry didnt text you yesterday. had to put restraining order on my ex.
Randomize
