Unmistakable female orgasm noises coming from upstairs shower
She must've brought a toy -- seriously doubt that he's up to the task
I'm starting to blur the boundary between reasonable senioritis and self-destruction. Somewhat-openly hittin the flask in 11am class
i think that after ALREADY drinking that much, the tube shots may have been a bad idea.. i mean afterall, i did wake up and find my cell phone IN the bonfire the next morning.
Is it hot in here? Is the room moving? Its moving. The room is moving. Its spinning like a top. Have you ever been covered in puke? What are you doing?
Well I will be attending the wedding with a flask of wine, potentially with a straw, and POM POMS for cheering purposes. Needless to say I will be well lubricated by your arrival..
I finally looked at the pictures from last night thanks for feeding me and pulling my pants up
How the hell do you leave a party with a kitten? It's missing and everyone knows it was you.
Any time you can't remember a night, and you wake up in a sorority house, it's fucking worth it.
Walk of shame dressed as a Christmas tree, it happened. Ho ho ho bitches
He's like a fucking cake pop, the greatest thing in the world while it lasts, but it never lasts for long enough
He drops f bombs like every other word and he just gave me 127 shares of tmobile stock for free. I feel like I should pay him back in blow jobs or something.
I was thirsty after the sex and it was a long trek back to res so naturally I stole chocolate milk from his fridge as I left
I'm nothing if not determined to sleep with everyone at that company
decided to jump from one of the levels of the Westin chicago Nortghwest. it was worth the broken legs.
I miss you and I miss your weed. Come home.
Randomize
