Pretty sure I only gave out my other # though. You know, 777 777-7777
Hahaha. So was it a Freudian slip, or wishful thinking? ;)
Could be either seeing as you're in my phone as "3rd bar" and I couldn't pick you outta a line up.
I can tell how much and what I drank by my morning shits
Just got a script for 120 vicodin with 6 refills. I feel like michael jackson.
I could make treat bags
she has double-d's AND she knows what level Pidgeot evolves. don't tell me she's not a keeper
just woke up COVERED in glow sticks and glitter. didn't even have to turn the light on to puke.
ive got a scarf tied around my face holding bags of hashbrowns to it, im too boss to care
omg. MEgabus. stoned.
Theres these two guys talking.
Lesson learned. Kayak oars are not golf clubs....check
After last night I think its official. Deep down, we like alcohol more than we like women.
Phil and I agree that the level of sand in your vagina rivals that of many of the earth's largest deserts
We are the best cocktail. We look appealing, taste amazing, and ruin lives.
At least you didn't have a hemorroid rupture while banging
That cat I follow on Facebook beat cancer so we're drinking tonight in celebration
I'm drunk but I just ate 2 heads of broccoli so does that mean it evens out?
Yes absolutlely
I'm pretty sure she tried to draw a self portrait out of her vomit. Then you tried to help, but passed out in the vomit.
Randomize
