clay aiken is like melissa ehteridge without the guitar.
Yeah I'm pretty sure at one point I was telling her to keep her dick in her pants. She was going to do some serious damage.
my girls lil sis wanted to play hide & seek. she told her 2 go hide. we went to the room and had sex. she was hiding under the bed.
last time I sleep in the lobby. woke up to some girl asking me what floor I lived on. somebody put me, couch included, on the elevator.
I feel like i made up for not being able to drink on St Pattys Day, Mardi Gras, and last years Cinco De Mayo. That hungover.
She had a maple leaf tattoo behind her ear and told me she liked my "playoff beard".
Only in Canada would your laziness be applied to hockey and rewarded.
Its only fair we share our golden vaginas with the world. It would be selfish if we didn't.
Come get her ASAP. She's "people bowling," which is just her rolling into random groups of people. People look pissed.
I asked the cop if I could see his dick- It's not like he could arrest me twice.
Negotiating with my body. We're ok. Violent upheaval is not necessary.
It's days like today, when my bra and underwear match, that make me feel like I'm getting my life together...
Also you can't just sext a Michelle quote from Full House.
GO RIDE HIS EYEBROWS INTO THE SUNSET
Just in case you blacked out, we had sex, you came in me, we need plan B, we fell off your top bunk, broke your roommates chair, i still like you, but i'm in pain and am going to bed
OMG. When you threw the used condom on your floor you threw it in my purse!!! I just went to grab my headphones and it was stuck to them!
Randomize
